Childlike Belief

I have to apologize for taking a break from the “Blog” During Lent I thought that I needed a little time to think of the “point” of the blog.  I read that there are over 500 Catholic blogs on the internet, some are good and some not so good, but you would think with that many people reflecting and writing that most people could find a place to find inspiration, information, and dialogue.  I have to admit that I really began to just feel like everything was just, “blah, blah, blah”. Too many words and not enough “action”.  I say this not toward others but more inwardly to myself. My initial intent was to take a few weeks off, regroup and then get back to writing or hopefully inviting others to write -- as I know, with all that I am, this isn’t suppose to be about me. But I never realized the twists and turns of life that would happen from that point.

I want to have this notion that God is in every moment of my life, walking with me at all times. And I can’t help but believe that if God is with me He would take an active part of my life. In the past weeks I have reflected on the idea of “belief”, what does believing in God mean?  I once heard a preacher talking about belief and what he said always stuck in my head.  He asked the congregation, if, when they walked into the church they believed that the chair in which they would sit in would actually hold them. Did they have to over analyze the chair that they were about to sit in. Would you spend time thinking of who made the chair, what if someone tampered with the chair just to spite you, perhaps the person setting up the chair didn’t really care if they were broken or not, maybe even though the chair looks in good working order there is something intrinsically wrong with it that will make you fall.  What if you walked into the church and you decided not to sit down, you just couldn’t believe that the chair was something you could trust in and while you more than likely wouldn’t lose your life if you fell out of the chair, there is no way you were going to endure the embarrassment and possible laughs that would come from you falling off the chair!  So while everyone sits, here you stand – not trusting. For me, this story really highlights the problem with my “belief”, while I say that I “believe” do I trust God enough to go out and do the “action” that would correlate with the actions of someone who truly believes in God. Am I ok with the ridicule or comments that might be made if I truly act and speak from what I believe in my heart and mind? I don’t always live in the connected way that I should between my beliefs and my actions. I tend not to trust things that I can’t control and unfortunately this often means that I don’t trust the people that God puts in my path, and what the problem with that is, until I can trust the people that I can see and tangibly relate with each day, the less I will be able to have a true belief in God. And that means that sometimes, I will give opportunities for people to say things about me like I am silly, naïve, etc. and I really hate feeling like others are making fun of me.  But as a Baptized Catholic this is exactly what I am called to do, to not care if I am ridiculed but as Mary reminds us, “Do what he tells you!”  And often, doing what God tells you to do, is doing it in an attitude that is “childlike” and not “childish”. When we do God’s will in a childish way, we find ourselves saying things like, “It’s not fair!” or “I didn’t do it, it’s not my fault” or even perhaps even worse, “Its too hard, I can’t do it!” But when we take up our crosses and do the will of God, we find ourselves being childlike, saying things like, “I will do it, will you help me?” or “I want to do it simply because I love you.” and we do the task in an enthusiastic way because we haven’t thought about why we shouldn’t do it and what it will cost.

Today in our readings (MT 11:25), Jesus exclaimed: "I give praise to you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, for although you have hidden these things from the wise and the learned you have revealed them to the childlike.”  I am going to pray and work on being more childlike, more trusting and more loving, without question and without fear, so that whatever it is that God is trying to reveal to me, it will be and not hidden because of all my intelligence.

[Oh, and so while I "took a short break" I talked myself everyday into another reason not to get back to it, and more on the "twists and turns" to come in future blogs.]