Last night as I was journaling as I try to do at least a few nights a week, I was busy writing down all the complaints of my life, (after all yesterday I did take a Kia Soul and hit my other Kia Rondo in my driveway) and so after the day I had I felt a little justified! But had I been doing what I was suppose to be doing, and followed through on my promises to people, perhaps one of the cars wouldn't have been where it was when I was backing up. And so with this realization, of course I began to panic about all the other places in my life that are not neat and tidy and are in this place of limbo. I didn't write much in my journal until, out of nowhere a lady bug lands on my bed, about 2 feet from me. I always find it strange that lady bugs seem to come out of nowhere. Being that I am so into destractions these days, I looked up what the symbolism of the lady bug was, and found my "God message" for the day {I never fall asleep before trying to figure out the message of the day}... so here are some facts about the lady bug:
- in the middle ages the lady bug was dedicated to Our Lady the Virgin Mary, and was called the "beetle of Our Lady" hence the name Lady Bug
- Their life cycle requires about four weeks, so several generations are produced each summer. This cycle ties the ladybug to the energies of renewal and regeneration. Because the life cycle of the adult ladybug is short it teaches us how to release worries and enjoy our lives to the fullest. When it appears in our life it is telling us to "let go and let God."
These are just some of the things I found surfing the web; and by this point in my journaling, the Lady Bug, had settled on the top of my hand as I wrote. I thought, how small this beetle is, with really nothing to protect her (or him) and yet it walks all over me, perhaps feeling my energy through his (or her) tiny feet and yet lady bugs do not seem to be afraid to make themselves known as other bugs are. Yet there is something so joyful about the lady bug. But this lady bug was reminding me that joy and fear can not exist together, that you have to decide to either be joyful and explore the world with no boundaries, or be fearful and hide. And so now, when I see a lady bug, I will take it as a sign from my heavenly Mother, to decide to live in joy instead of fear!
I wanted to make sure that the lady bug was safe, but before I knew it, it had disappeared. When I read back what I had written at the top of the journal entry the problems didn't seem to matter.
Today's Gospel reading reminds us what comes in tiny packages, and that even though it begins tiny the mustard seed is meant to grow mighty and strong. Sometimes we all feel small, especially with all the things happening in the world. How can I make a change? We feel too small to make a difference. But somehow God will use us to make the change that is so desperately needed if we just have faith, even the faith of a mustard seed.
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