The Meaning of the Lady Bug

Last night as I was journaling as I try to do at least a few nights a week, I was busy writing down all the complaints of my life, (after all yesterday I did take a Kia Soul and hit my other Kia Rondo in my driveway) and so after the day I had I felt a little justified! But had I been doing what I was suppose to be doing, and followed through on my promises to people, perhaps one of the cars wouldn't have been where it was when I was backing up. And so with this realization, of course I began to panic about all the other places in my life that are not neat and tidy and are in this place of limbo. I didn't write much in my journal until, out of nowhere a lady bug lands on my bed, about 2 feet from me. I always find it strange that lady bugs seem to come out of nowhere. Being that I am so into destractions these days, I looked up what the symbolism of the lady bug was, and found my "God message" for the day {I never fall asleep before trying to figure out the message of the day}... so here are some facts about the lady bug:

- in the middle ages the lady bug was dedicated to Our Lady the Virgin Mary, and was called the "beetle of Our Lady" hence the name Lady Bug
- Their life cycle requires about four weeks, so several generations are produced each summer.  This cycle ties the ladybug to the energies of renewal and regeneration. Because the life cycle of the adult ladybug is short it teaches us how to release worries and enjoy our lives to the fullest.  When it appears in our life it is telling us to "let go and let God."

These are just some of the things I found surfing the web; and by this point in my journaling, the Lady Bug, had settled on the top of my hand as I wrote. I thought, how small this beetle is, with really nothing to protect her (or him) and yet it walks all over me, perhaps feeling my energy through his (or her) tiny feet and yet lady bugs do not seem to be afraid to make themselves known as other bugs are. Yet there is something so joyful about the lady bug.  But this lady bug was reminding me that joy and fear can not exist together, that you have to decide to either be joyful and explore the world with no boundaries, or be fearful and hide. And so now, when I see a lady bug, I will take it as a sign from my heavenly Mother, to decide to live in joy instead of fear!

I wanted to make sure that the lady bug was safe, but before I knew it, it had disappeared. When I read back what I had written at the top of the journal entry the problems didn't seem to matter. 

Today's Gospel reading reminds us what comes in tiny packages, and that even though it begins tiny the mustard seed is meant to grow mighty and strong. Sometimes we all feel small, especially with all the things happening in the world. How can I make a change?  We feel too small to make a difference. But somehow God will use us to make the change that is so desperately needed if we just have faith, even the faith of a mustard seed.

Childlike Belief

I have to apologize for taking a break from the “Blog” During Lent I thought that I needed a little time to think of the “point” of the blog.  I read that there are over 500 Catholic blogs on the internet, some are good and some not so good, but you would think with that many people reflecting and writing that most people could find a place to find inspiration, information, and dialogue.  I have to admit that I really began to just feel like everything was just, “blah, blah, blah”. Too many words and not enough “action”.  I say this not toward others but more inwardly to myself. My initial intent was to take a few weeks off, regroup and then get back to writing or hopefully inviting others to write -- as I know, with all that I am, this isn’t suppose to be about me. But I never realized the twists and turns of life that would happen from that point.

I want to have this notion that God is in every moment of my life, walking with me at all times. And I can’t help but believe that if God is with me He would take an active part of my life. In the past weeks I have reflected on the idea of “belief”, what does believing in God mean?  I once heard a preacher talking about belief and what he said always stuck in my head.  He asked the congregation, if, when they walked into the church they believed that the chair in which they would sit in would actually hold them. Did they have to over analyze the chair that they were about to sit in. Would you spend time thinking of who made the chair, what if someone tampered with the chair just to spite you, perhaps the person setting up the chair didn’t really care if they were broken or not, maybe even though the chair looks in good working order there is something intrinsically wrong with it that will make you fall.  What if you walked into the church and you decided not to sit down, you just couldn’t believe that the chair was something you could trust in and while you more than likely wouldn’t lose your life if you fell out of the chair, there is no way you were going to endure the embarrassment and possible laughs that would come from you falling off the chair!  So while everyone sits, here you stand – not trusting. For me, this story really highlights the problem with my “belief”, while I say that I “believe” do I trust God enough to go out and do the “action” that would correlate with the actions of someone who truly believes in God. Am I ok with the ridicule or comments that might be made if I truly act and speak from what I believe in my heart and mind? I don’t always live in the connected way that I should between my beliefs and my actions. I tend not to trust things that I can’t control and unfortunately this often means that I don’t trust the people that God puts in my path, and what the problem with that is, until I can trust the people that I can see and tangibly relate with each day, the less I will be able to have a true belief in God. And that means that sometimes, I will give opportunities for people to say things about me like I am silly, naïve, etc. and I really hate feeling like others are making fun of me.  But as a Baptized Catholic this is exactly what I am called to do, to not care if I am ridiculed but as Mary reminds us, “Do what he tells you!”  And often, doing what God tells you to do, is doing it in an attitude that is “childlike” and not “childish”. When we do God’s will in a childish way, we find ourselves saying things like, “It’s not fair!” or “I didn’t do it, it’s not my fault” or even perhaps even worse, “Its too hard, I can’t do it!” But when we take up our crosses and do the will of God, we find ourselves being childlike, saying things like, “I will do it, will you help me?” or “I want to do it simply because I love you.” and we do the task in an enthusiastic way because we haven’t thought about why we shouldn’t do it and what it will cost.

Today in our readings (MT 11:25), Jesus exclaimed: "I give praise to you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, for although you have hidden these things from the wise and the learned you have revealed them to the childlike.”  I am going to pray and work on being more childlike, more trusting and more loving, without question and without fear, so that whatever it is that God is trying to reveal to me, it will be and not hidden because of all my intelligence.

[Oh, and so while I "took a short break" I talked myself everyday into another reason not to get back to it, and more on the "twists and turns" to come in future blogs.]