Thankful for the Beginning of Metanoia

Usually the writings of this blog are inspired by the readings for the upcoming week, but this week I plan to do something a little different. I am coming back from a few days off, celebrating the Thanksgiving week with my family, which has truly left me feeling humbled and blessed. Although we don’t have the numbers that other families are blessed with, as we sat around our small table (in our pajamas this year) we realized that we had so much to be Thankful for. Among those things, is the opportunity to be the Director of Young Adult Ministry and a family that is as dedicated as I am. A mother who jumps in and takes care of so much so that my dream can be realized to work for the church, while maintaining a job that also is very fulfilling is enough to be thankful for. And thankful for such a good son who understands why sometimes I have to be away, and already at the age of 12 understands that people need to stand up for what we believe in, even if that means he goes to bed without my kiss or hugs some nights. A am humbled to be a single mother and somehow can keep our life going, when I am well aware that in other countries the plight of single mothers is to beg on the street for any morsel of food, or to even sell your child in hopes that this little one will have a better life somewhere outside your arms. “Only by the grace of God go I” is my mantra.

I am grateful for the beautiful women I met on our first Metanoia retreat and the wonderful people, especially Fr. Al Hauser, who jumped in and made it happen as I was wrestling with the devil. Without him, or the Kilians, the retreat would not have been possible. I want to talk too, about the power of God, when two or three gathered there He is in our midst and it has never been so powerful for me as it was during the Metanoia retreat. So much so, that when it was over, I, like the first disciples, found myself wanting to hide in the upper room -- in awe and wondering of what the real meaning of the experience meant; not only to me but to the future of our church.  I want to make it clear, that it had nothing to do with me, it was purely God.  It wasn’t an experience of something that will change everything in itself, but it was a seed of something that could grow so powerful. In so many ways, in the experiencing of the retreat, it became something different than I even dreamed about when the planning of this event began. For me, the power of God’s presence and the insistent presence of the devil within me left me in a place in which I will forever be changed.  There were so many factors that could have stopped this retreat from happening that when I list them all I wonder how it actually got off the ground, but it did. I knew it before but I am even more convinced than ever, that God will always win over evil if we merely help the fight. It is by no coincidence, though I didn’t put it all together, that the first Metanoia retreat was held the weekend of Christ the King. But I also know how weak we are, even when we don’t want to be.  The most beautiful element of the retreat is that the participants were able to just “be” with God, one of the things that we often forget to do. We spoke of the demands of the world, how we get our appreciation and self worth from what we “do” and in God’s eyes, He loves us simply because we “are”. If only we could see ourselves as God sees us!! Thank you to Jamie, Samantha, Carmel, Jen and Kelley for saying "yes" to the unknown, and for sharing of yourselves to our first small group.

As we anticipate the birth of the Christ-child, we are reminded to envelope ourselves in “silent nights” – to simply just meditate on our lives, that are often lived in darkness and in a state of loneliness. If we can reach deep down into ourselves and be honest, how we could get to the end of Advent with such a yearning for Christ to enter our lives in a whole new way, with both hands wanting to hold that Christ baby in loving embrace – and oh how he would love to share his wondrous joy with us, no more darkness, no more loneliness and a promise to walk beside us, all the days of our lives.

This week as we prepare for the Solemnity of Christ the King, we are reminded that it is through our dealings with those who are hungry, who are thirsty and who are held captive that reflects how we deal with God Himself. For the last couple of weeks we have been reflecting on the light and the darkness, how Jesus has taken us out of the darkness and brought us into light, into a new life; and with that new life, it is up to us to go and do God’s work, to feed the hungry and give drink to the thirsty. I think though, we often take this literally, as in some ways we should; it is our responsibility to change the lives of the poor, and to feed those who literally do not have food. But as I once again hear this reading I am reminded of my early days in youth and campus ministry.  When I decided to commit myself to church ministry as my career, I envisioned myself working with the poor. I was in fact, hoping to go to a country like El Salvador to work with the poor and to even risk my life for the message of Christ. However, God seemed to have different plans for me, and I became a Youth Minister in Kentucky and then a Campus Minister in Mississippi and in my entire ministry found myself ministering to children and families that were not poor at all. It was a big shock for me, as I began my ministry career because the parishioners seemed to have lives bigger than I had ever experienced. The youth in my ministry lived in very large houses, in beautiful sub-divisions and had all of the latest gadgets at the time. You were invited to big parties and parishes were new and beautiful. They seemed like the last people who needed food and drink. But as I reflect back on the experience, I was reminded over and over again of just how hungry, thirsty and lost so many of them were. As part of my Campus Ministry at Ole Miss we brought college age students to the missions in Saltillo, Mexico. The people there needed the basics of life, and yet they had so much that we did not have. The experience would make everyone of us who participated in this trip question who exactly is hungry and thirsty.  Sometimes it is much more glamorous for us to sell everything and move to Africa than to see the needs in our own backyard and begin ministering there. We cannot let ourselves be fooled by not hearing the inner cries of those who seem to have everything on the outside and are starving and dying of thirst inside.  

 With the decline of participation in our parishes, especially by Young Adults, we are a missionary church. The need for our church today, I believe, is the conversion of hearts, one heart at a time; being transformed by a personal connection with Jesus. In a world in which our basics are not in question, we are less likely to turn to God, because , let’s face it, it is in hardships and struggles that we move ourselves closer to God, crying for his assistance, His mercy and / or His forgiveness.  We are a people in great spiritual need, and we are so thirsty and so hungry for the living God within our lives that we do not know how to satisfy that need. We grasp at everything we think may satisfy us, but we never are.

We must ask ourselves, am I spiritually feeding others around me; do I move others in the direction of the living waters?  Do I wrap people in the warmth of God when I interact with them? Do I show them the consolation that God offers each one of us?  This is a much more difficult task than handing someone a bottle of water.  So this week, work to stop poverty, but do not overlook the poverty that may be within the person’s life next to you.  Watch how you interact with others so that you will leave God with them when you walk away.