Trying to be a good Catholic, but something ALWAYS comes up!

Do you remember the story recently about a teacher who was working for a religious school and suffered from narcolepsy, she left her position to seek medical treatment, and when she came back her position was no longer available. The Supreme Court, all 9 Justices unanimously ruled that religious law overrides civil law and that the teacher could not sue the institution for violation of the American Disabilities Act.  Now, it seems that everything has changed when speaking about reproduction and health care, it seems that religious law is not taken into consideration at all. I am confused as to how these rulings come about.

I try to be a good Catholic, and over and over again I miss the mark, and most of the time the struggle to be a good, socially conscious Catholic, is overwhelming and I begin to understand why so many have given up the fight. Don’t get me wrong I am not proposing that the Church “lighten up a bit” so that I can feel good about myself – because I do believe in the position of the Catholic Church on all counts. Once we begin to want to follow the Church it is more and more apparent of how the world is in real conflict with what God had intended for His creation. As a parent, it is very upsetting that we are, as in Luke writes, sending our children "like lambs among wolves".  It is disheartening, overwhelming, and apparent that we cannot be “good” Catholics on our own. I know for myself, I don’t know what to do.

Next weekend, the Bishop (Terry LaValley) has issued a letter to be placed in each bulletin throughout the Diocese explaining to the faithful the importance of us knowing about and understanding the latest ruling by the Dept of Health and Human Services that almost all employers, including Catholic employers, will be forced to offer their employees health coverage that includes sterilization, abortion-inducing drugs, and contraception.  Almost all health insurers will be forced to include those “services” in the health policies they write.  Almost all individuals will be forced to buy that coverage as a part of their policies.

As I said, I am very confused and kind of ashamed. I must admit that I have never really put that much thinking into what my insurance plan pays or doesn’t pay for and how that affects me. After all, my insurance plan pays for alcohol and drug rehab which I have never needed and hope never need! I had a sense that I was paying for things that I would never use, but that insurance was a “collective” way of paying health care costs, each of its members getting what they need. I never researched or asked if my insurance plan pays for infertility treatments or Viagra or abortions or the day after pill or transgender reassignment surgery or a host of other things that do not come into line with my beliefs as a Catholic. I just never thought about it. But now it is hard to ignore when we receive this information through our parishes. And again I find myself wondering if I have to make some hard choices.

I work for a non for profit agency, funded by federal, state and local monies. We receive a pretty good benefits package which includes a 50/50 share on health insurance. I know that if I went out and tried to purchase equal insurance on my own, it could send my family into financial ruin, or most probably we would join the millions of Americans who are uninsured. If we were to suffer a serious health issue, I would find myself in ruins. Am I not supposed to be responsible to my family and take care of the child that God has blessed me with the best way I can? And so I today, as I read the letter from the Bishop and I look on the internet for more information, I find myself once again, feeling like a horrible, weak Catholic – that I may choose to continue to accept the adequate insurance coverage I receive through my non-religious employment. I have no clue as I write this the answer . . .  but I have a feeling that I am not alone in my concern. Many Catholics find themselves conflicted with teachings ALL THE TIME!!

As I reflect on this and other topics, it always makes me think of the early church members, how they were trying to figure out how to follow Jesus in the midst of a world that seemed opposed (sound familiar?) Let us pray for all of us who are trying to live our faith, that we will have the courage to make the changes in our life necessary and the wisdom to trust God in this walk of our faith.

Maybe one way to start is to get involved is being a part of the NYS Catholic Conference Public Policy Day on March 13th, in Albany NY. You can get information from the website http://www.nyscatholic.org/?s=policy+day ; Please let me know if you are interested in participating; we will be having on line meetings as the date approaches.

Teach Me Your Ways O Lord . . .

We all have lessons to learn … everyday.  If life is lived well, then everyday has been a lesson; hopefully a lesson in holiness.  Time is going by so fast that it is hard to believe that the holidays have passed so quickly, and we find ourselves back in “ordinary time”.  But as we live our lives it doesn’t seem like “ordinary times” at all. This weekend our attentions turn to Washington DC and the March for Life.  So many of our brothers and sisters from the Diocese have made the trek to stand up for Life, have a voice and be counted.  In the Gospel we continue to see Jesus choosing his disciples, asking them to leave the familiar and follow him.  As usual, our weekly readings relate to the events of life.  This will be my first March for Life and I am looking forward to learning from those I will meet these two days of travel. 

But I truly believe that honesty is the best policy, and as I have been struggling to write this blog this week, trying harder to make myself look good, rather than write what I struggle with – I have chose to be honest. I have such admiration for those who have taken time out of their lives to attend this march -- to leave families, the comfort of their own homes, put themselves out to chaperone buses filled with teens - who will have an opportunity to experience the freedom of speech and to gather in one voice in triumph for those who cannot speak for themselves -is inspirational, and here I sit, a little less than excited about sleeping the next two nights on a bus, diving into a crowd in possibly bad weather to speak up for something I don’t even know will ever change. I am ashamed to say it, but I am not leaving tomorrow with positive excitement.  As a Catholic, I have always wondered if I should vote simply on the person who promises to reverse Roe vs Wade in their campaign speech. Conservative Republicans have come and gone promising to uphold the core values that we believe in and still there is no change. Roe vs Wade has not been reversed, family values have not been upheld and it seems that Hollywood has much more influence in how our government makes decisions than a group of hundreds and thousands of Christians who believe in the sanctity of life right outside the government leaders doors.  The March for Life, reminds me of the fact that our families are dying, that kids are more apt to take advice from MTV than a loving parent, that men still do not see themselves as the leaders of their families, that girls grow up not knowing their own worth and therefore settle for the love of those who will not cherish them but simply use their bodies. It reminds me that we live in a culture that sex is as casual as a handshake and that we lie not only with our words but with our bodies. That we have such a difficult time admitting that our hearts are broken, and we are left yearning for something more and yet we know it can only be satisfied by God. It seems that politicians say what they need to say in order to get elected but never see themselves as servants to all of us who just want to have a good, decent life. It overwhelms me to know that the Abortion issue is a result of all of our sins, and it is our responsibility to live in a way that would never make a woman or a girl, a man or a boy even think about killing their own child.  We live in a culture where Grandma is denied cataract surgery and grandpa is offered Viagra – children live in poverty in single parent homes and wall street bankers get bailed out!

I think that many people are not so different than me, overwhelmed with all the rhetoric. What is the right answer? Why do we not march for the life and sanctity of families, because I really think that it is the cause of such evils as abortion. We have forgotten the importance of the mother and father and their roles in the home and in society. We have been told that we do not need to feel that we are getting older, stay young -- when we can’t, and that it is a sin not to take up our role as mature adults, especially in the lives of our children, all the world’s children.  There is nothing that I have been more sure of than God’s presence at the birth of my son, the gift of life.  His conception was all wrong, but God made a beautiful perfection from an unholy mess. I, like many of the women who are the center of this debate, found myself alone, penniless and afraid, but I had something that many, if not all, the women who have abortions don’t have, and that is that many years ago, someone took my hand and placed it into the hand of Jesus and taught me how to trust in Him and in nothing else. When I found myself alone, because of my doubt and sin, I knew right away that Jesus was by my side and that we would get through it together – if everyday I asked myself if I had done all that I could, and if I was honest about it. Like the disciples that Jesus choose to be his followers, we have to help people put their hand in Jesus’ hand, we have to evangelize to others – we have to give our time so that the children in our church and community will feel loved and protected, and will never feel less than the beautiful perfection God made them, and then they will never find themselves in front of an abortion clinic – not because it is against the law, but because they know they are a child of God.

Know your faith – and then use your time to pass it along, be a part of teaching the faith.

Epiphany – God’s Way of Saying “Get Moving!”

I Googled “Epiphany” images and found this one and thought how wonderful it was. This small child certainly looks like he/she has had an “epiphany” and I thought how much this picture symbolizes what we should be like when we think about the miraculous event of Christmas; that God has loved us so much that He sent his only begotten son to live among us and to teach us what it means to be a son or daughter of God.  I don’t know about you, but I want to be like this when I encounter Jesus in my life. Like the shepherds and the wise men, have we seen our star; that light that calls us out of our comfort zone, that thing that gives us hope that our lives can be different – better?  We all have something inside of us that leaves us yearning for something more, searching for meaning of our existence and I think that God gives us the light in the darkness, but so often we ignore that it is God. God calls us, just like the shepherds and the wise men to get moving – to find the treasure that lies beneath the star that God shines brightly for each one of us. We all reach our Epiphany at different times, in different ways, God has a journey for each one of us and He offers the greatest gift, if we will take the journey, trust in Him and believe that God is truly with us.

Keep Things in Perspective! (And pray every day for the world to do the same)

This Christmas Season I decided to be quiet. To stop talking, stop writing, stop having an opinion and listen, just listen. As you can see from the last entry to this blog it has been a very quiet time for the Office of Young Adult Ministry, and a very quiet time for me. As I headed into the busy season of Advent and Christmas, I found myself more and more quiet, watching the hustle and bustle of people around me, the acquisition of more and more stuff that people don’t really need; the adoption of this Christian holiday by people who are not very (if at all) Christian the other days of the year (even my Jewish friends were busy decorating their Christmas tree and buying presents), the television shows, commercials and store music that really made you feel like an alien if you were not so ready to buy into the whole thing.  I found myself wondering what I could get my son that would make his eyes twinkle and shriek with excitement on Christmas – because to tell you the truth, I needed that more than anything because he is growing up and there is no little boy in my house any longer.  Despite him telling me that he didn’t need anything I wanted to get him something, and the world around me told me that I did too.  On Christmas Eve I found myself pretty depressed that as a single mother, I really couldn’t justify threatening the mortgage payment, or heating fuel, or – oh yea, Christmas Eve my furnace decided to get sick, so an emergency visit of a repairman on Christmas Day also didn’t help – and all along my son told me that he didn’t need anything. But as parents we all know that the abundance of Christmas isn’t really about what our kids need, or what they want, but about us, and how we have bought into what the world tells us we are suppose to be as parents and perhaps, it is a way for us to make up all those times throughout the year when we didn’t do it perfectly, because somehow we were taught that we are suppose to do it perfectly every time!  As I went to sleep that night, hoping we wouldn’t get too much snow this winter because my porch roof doesn’t look like it can take the pressure, and worried about the furnace, wondering if I was enough for anything or anyone, and the thoughts kept whirling in my head, -- I prayed for Peace. My thoughts went to that small family in the manger, “no crib for his bed”, and imagined what they would be thinking. Would they concentrate on the conditions of the manger or just be grateful to have shelter?  I wondered of all mother’s and father’s who were lonely this Christmas, that felt that they would let their kids down because they couldn’t get them the latest i-product or whatever it is they had been asking for. I thought of all the mother’s and father’s who did buy things that they really couldn’t afford and were lying awake at night wondering how to get pass this Christmas.  Like the Shepherds in the fields, sometimes life is dark and lonely, even on Christmas night.  We have to see the Light, that only God can send us, and follow it, no matter how difficult the journey -- that leads us to Jesus, quietly sleeping in His mother’s arms, surrounded by Love, waiting for us to be present.  “What do I have to give the King?” asked one of the Shepherds, and the other replied, “We can give him our faith.” (There is nothing like a Christmas pageant when you hear these words spoken by children and you can really get it!)  I fell asleep with the thoughts of Jesus and the prayer of so many lonely souls that night.

But I awoke wanting to be silent.  No inspiration to write about anything.

I spent much time during the holiday, reading and watching movies, spending time with Noah and playing some board games. The time went by way too quickly as I am sure you can agree.

Then it came to me, as I sat in Sunday Mass this past weekend – one line that changed my spirit – “Mary kept these things, reflecting on them in her heart.”  My quiet Christmas made sense, it is ok, to take it all in and quietly reflect on them, that there is time to be quiet and time to speak, and both are ok.  And I was able to be so grateful for all that I saw this holiday season. I was able to dig up the manual for the furnace and begin to understand how they work, and what all the buttons are for; and for a moment, I stopped, all the anxiety of what I think the world should be like, and as Noah and I were looking at the planets through his telescope on a very cold, clear night (the night sky has been full of entertainment the last few weeks!), I thought of those Shepherds and Wise men, who had been called to leave the familiar and search for the origin of a star, and there they would find Love.

I believe that nothing happens by coincidence; this past summer, as Noah was starting to become attracted to stars and planets, black holes and galaxies, we attended Creation Fest, in which Louis Giglio spoke of God’s Magical Symphony – the sounds of God’s creation, even stars, praising the Creator. It was an awesome presentation. I ran into Sam’s a couple days before Christmas, and as I was quickly passing the book section, heading toward the frozen foods, something caught my eye, it was a small paperback book, by Louie Giglio entitled “Indescribable” and I thought, “Hey this is the guy this summer!” And I got it to give to Noah for Christmas, because his love of the night sky was increased by the presentation of this guy.  Noah was very excited, and I got to see that twinkle! (And it wasn’t even an i-product!) and within a couple of days Noah had finished the book, and when I asked him how the book was, he replied, “Indescribable Mom!” But he wanted to share one thing he learned about with me and it not only, brought things into prospective, it connected all the dots from my Christmas experience-- it is a video done by Carl Sagan, describing this “Pale Blue Dot” we live on and I want to share it with you. Perhaps it will help all of us keep things in perspective in 2012 and really understand that God is BIG and we are small, and when we get caught up in something that feels life or death, and it really isn’t, remember our size in the big scheme of things, and why not do the right thing whatever the consequences and stop living in fear, because our time is less than a fraction of a second, and people are suffering because of our own inflated sense of self importance as the collective “us” refuse to see the big, big, big picture God sees.  To keep things in perspective is my prayer for myself, for you and for all the world in 2012.