Where were you on 9/11?

Where were you on September 11th, 2001? It is a question that I am sure is being asked today, as our nation remembers the day our world changed with a quick strike of violence. I remember where I was, I was in my car driving to a job interview, and when I got to the interview, everyone was very distracted of the story that was being watched on tv and heard on the radio; I remember thinking that it just was so unreal, that this couldn't be happening. It was very frightening, as the news of other planes dropping out of the sky and innocent people, just going about their business lost their lives, made last minute phone calls to love ones and then where just gone! It was just unbelievable. All I wanted to do was get home with my 2 year old son and just hold him close to me. I just wanted to be with people I loved, and suddenly the future was unsure.

We humans are a funny bunch, because 11 years have passed, and in some ways, we have forgotten about the terror of that day; we have somehow been able to get back to the daily concerns of our lives. But I think that it was amazing that the whole country that day, understood that life is really not in our hands and that it can be taken away from us at any time. Do we use up our days to their fullest or do we live each day like it could be our last? Do we take the opportunity to help our neighbor when called on? Do we say "yes" to all the sacrifices that God puts before us for our love of Him and for his people? Do we put our lives in prospective each moment of the day? Do we tell people that they matter to us? Do we forgive those who have hurt us so that we are no longer held captive by our own resentment, anger or hurt?

Today, let us pray for those souls that were innocently going about their business that day, let us honor them today by not letting this day, which is a gift from God go by without our notice; begin today to be present in this day, say hello to that stranger going by, tell your family you love them and put your life in perspective. I really believe that those who lost their lives that day, our begging us to never forget, and to be present to the day God has given us. 

Epiphany – God’s Way of Saying “Get Moving!”

I Googled “Epiphany” images and found this one and thought how wonderful it was. This small child certainly looks like he/she has had an “epiphany” and I thought how much this picture symbolizes what we should be like when we think about the miraculous event of Christmas; that God has loved us so much that He sent his only begotten son to live among us and to teach us what it means to be a son or daughter of God.  I don’t know about you, but I want to be like this when I encounter Jesus in my life. Like the shepherds and the wise men, have we seen our star; that light that calls us out of our comfort zone, that thing that gives us hope that our lives can be different – better?  We all have something inside of us that leaves us yearning for something more, searching for meaning of our existence and I think that God gives us the light in the darkness, but so often we ignore that it is God. God calls us, just like the shepherds and the wise men to get moving – to find the treasure that lies beneath the star that God shines brightly for each one of us. We all reach our Epiphany at different times, in different ways, God has a journey for each one of us and He offers the greatest gift, if we will take the journey, trust in Him and believe that God is truly with us.

Keep Things in Perspective! (And pray every day for the world to do the same)

This Christmas Season I decided to be quiet. To stop talking, stop writing, stop having an opinion and listen, just listen. As you can see from the last entry to this blog it has been a very quiet time for the Office of Young Adult Ministry, and a very quiet time for me. As I headed into the busy season of Advent and Christmas, I found myself more and more quiet, watching the hustle and bustle of people around me, the acquisition of more and more stuff that people don’t really need; the adoption of this Christian holiday by people who are not very (if at all) Christian the other days of the year (even my Jewish friends were busy decorating their Christmas tree and buying presents), the television shows, commercials and store music that really made you feel like an alien if you were not so ready to buy into the whole thing.  I found myself wondering what I could get my son that would make his eyes twinkle and shriek with excitement on Christmas – because to tell you the truth, I needed that more than anything because he is growing up and there is no little boy in my house any longer.  Despite him telling me that he didn’t need anything I wanted to get him something, and the world around me told me that I did too.  On Christmas Eve I found myself pretty depressed that as a single mother, I really couldn’t justify threatening the mortgage payment, or heating fuel, or – oh yea, Christmas Eve my furnace decided to get sick, so an emergency visit of a repairman on Christmas Day also didn’t help – and all along my son told me that he didn’t need anything. But as parents we all know that the abundance of Christmas isn’t really about what our kids need, or what they want, but about us, and how we have bought into what the world tells us we are suppose to be as parents and perhaps, it is a way for us to make up all those times throughout the year when we didn’t do it perfectly, because somehow we were taught that we are suppose to do it perfectly every time!  As I went to sleep that night, hoping we wouldn’t get too much snow this winter because my porch roof doesn’t look like it can take the pressure, and worried about the furnace, wondering if I was enough for anything or anyone, and the thoughts kept whirling in my head, -- I prayed for Peace. My thoughts went to that small family in the manger, “no crib for his bed”, and imagined what they would be thinking. Would they concentrate on the conditions of the manger or just be grateful to have shelter?  I wondered of all mother’s and father’s who were lonely this Christmas, that felt that they would let their kids down because they couldn’t get them the latest i-product or whatever it is they had been asking for. I thought of all the mother’s and father’s who did buy things that they really couldn’t afford and were lying awake at night wondering how to get pass this Christmas.  Like the Shepherds in the fields, sometimes life is dark and lonely, even on Christmas night.  We have to see the Light, that only God can send us, and follow it, no matter how difficult the journey -- that leads us to Jesus, quietly sleeping in His mother’s arms, surrounded by Love, waiting for us to be present.  “What do I have to give the King?” asked one of the Shepherds, and the other replied, “We can give him our faith.” (There is nothing like a Christmas pageant when you hear these words spoken by children and you can really get it!)  I fell asleep with the thoughts of Jesus and the prayer of so many lonely souls that night.

But I awoke wanting to be silent.  No inspiration to write about anything.

I spent much time during the holiday, reading and watching movies, spending time with Noah and playing some board games. The time went by way too quickly as I am sure you can agree.

Then it came to me, as I sat in Sunday Mass this past weekend – one line that changed my spirit – “Mary kept these things, reflecting on them in her heart.”  My quiet Christmas made sense, it is ok, to take it all in and quietly reflect on them, that there is time to be quiet and time to speak, and both are ok.  And I was able to be so grateful for all that I saw this holiday season. I was able to dig up the manual for the furnace and begin to understand how they work, and what all the buttons are for; and for a moment, I stopped, all the anxiety of what I think the world should be like, and as Noah and I were looking at the planets through his telescope on a very cold, clear night (the night sky has been full of entertainment the last few weeks!), I thought of those Shepherds and Wise men, who had been called to leave the familiar and search for the origin of a star, and there they would find Love.

I believe that nothing happens by coincidence; this past summer, as Noah was starting to become attracted to stars and planets, black holes and galaxies, we attended Creation Fest, in which Louis Giglio spoke of God’s Magical Symphony – the sounds of God’s creation, even stars, praising the Creator. It was an awesome presentation. I ran into Sam’s a couple days before Christmas, and as I was quickly passing the book section, heading toward the frozen foods, something caught my eye, it was a small paperback book, by Louie Giglio entitled “Indescribable” and I thought, “Hey this is the guy this summer!” And I got it to give to Noah for Christmas, because his love of the night sky was increased by the presentation of this guy.  Noah was very excited, and I got to see that twinkle! (And it wasn’t even an i-product!) and within a couple of days Noah had finished the book, and when I asked him how the book was, he replied, “Indescribable Mom!” But he wanted to share one thing he learned about with me and it not only, brought things into prospective, it connected all the dots from my Christmas experience-- it is a video done by Carl Sagan, describing this “Pale Blue Dot” we live on and I want to share it with you. Perhaps it will help all of us keep things in perspective in 2012 and really understand that God is BIG and we are small, and when we get caught up in something that feels life or death, and it really isn’t, remember our size in the big scheme of things, and why not do the right thing whatever the consequences and stop living in fear, because our time is less than a fraction of a second, and people are suffering because of our own inflated sense of self importance as the collective “us” refuse to see the big, big, big picture God sees.  To keep things in perspective is my prayer for myself, for you and for all the world in 2012.

Feast of the Immaculate Conception - Happy Mother's Day Mary!

Today is meaningful day for me, not just because it is a Holy Day of Obligation ,but as a Catholic Mother I a take time to reflect on my motherhood. The readings remind us today of the beginning of God’s relationship with us through the story of Eve in Genesis.  The story of Adam and Eve is one that tells us of our human condition and always reminds us that we are not as trusting of God as we were created to be. Not that we do not have the power to trust, because at times in life we amaze ourselves with the ability to trust God, but that we fall over and over again in believing that God has our best in mind. The serpent was able to convince Eve that God was not telling her the truth about the tree of knowledge and that somehow God was keeping something from her. And so trust was broken and life became hard outside the promises of God. It was especially hard because Adam and Eve would struggle to see themselves as God sees them, and we would begin the long hard struggle of gaining that vision back. We tend to see ourselves, thousands of years later, being naked, exposed and concentrating on that fact instead of all the things that God has given us, all of which are freely given.

As a young woman I too struggled with only seeing what I wasn’t instead of who I was, and this belief of not being enough led me to never really expecting the best for myself.  What I wanted in life, all the good things, a good husband and children, somehow seemed to be out of my grasp; instead of looking into myself for the answers I looked outward and became discouraged. As I think of Mary’s journey today, I see how she was the one who broke the chains of fear and Eve’s inability to trust God. Mary trusted God with all that she was, and agreed to be a part of something that would change the world forever, never asking to know the outcome before she agreed.  I was tired of waiting for “the one”, and he was not coming, I felt that I had to get that through my head. I know now that it was the same serpent of Eve, telling me that God didn’t really hear my prayers.  I didn’t want to believe it, I was a good person, why wouldn’t it come to me? To seal the deal, the person I loved more than anything, was taken from my life when he took his own life. I couldn’t understand how a loving God could do this! And so like Eve, I took it upon myself to find knowledge, left the church and went about getting my own dreams. I gave myself to the first person that came along and used love as the reason. But from the beginning I knew that this did not fit with who I was. The problem was that I did not know who I was anymore, because I had taken God out of the equation. I just wanted to feel loved.  I found myself pregnant, pretty quickly, and in today’s reading I am reminded of how I felt that day. We hear Mary saying, “How can this be, since I have no relations with a man? Not that I didn’t have sexual relations but I had no “relationship” with a man, because in order to have a relationship I would have had to be present, and I wasn’t present to anything except physically. I wonder today, of how many women find themselves in the same situation, knowing that they are physical with a man, but really are not in relationship to them. There are so many of us women, seeking love, and we just can’t find the love that will satisfy our inner soul, because that place is reserved for God. At this point, I had some “choices”--  I could have had an abortion and my reputation would not have been stained, but my soul would have been stained forever; I could have stood in a church, proclaiming my vows, knowing that I would not be able to fulfill them; or I could have confessed my sin, taken the consequences and sin no more, asking for help to make this situation (which felt horrible) into something that glorified God. I choose the later. I chose to get busy in making a life with this small child and finally trusting in God that all would be well. Through this event, God (and me) brought me to a place that I was forced to trust in Him, because there was nothing else to trust. From that moment on I was at peace and luckily for me it was in the beginning of my pregnancy. This baby who was growing inside me was not a “mistake” it was hope that God and I were growing together.  I wish that for every woman that finds themselves in this place would believe that God has great things for you and for that child, no matter the circumstances.  Think of the fear that Mary must have felt because she could be stoned to death, and if she can say yes to life, what are we afraid of … tarnished reputations or financial struggles? Take on the fight! That small child inside of us wants to be born, wants to receive God’s promises.  This small little boy inside me, was the answer to my prayer, I wanted to be a Mom, maybe not in these circumstances, but I know that God used it to bring me ever closer to him and ultimately give me the answer to who I was.  In the Book of Revelation, we see Mary, triumph over the serpent, with 12 gold stars around her head, the Queen of Heaven and earth, she shows us how to trust in a way that Eve before her failed. She shows us how every day, trusting God wins over evil, even when you have to watch your child being placed on the cross!

When I gave birth to Noah, there were some medical complications that were pretty serious, so within just a few minutes we went from delivering to C-section to emergency surgery, and as they placed the mask on my face, I heard God ask, “will you die for him?” and my answer was “Yes” and never in my life was I in a position to give my life for someone else and God gave me this gift.  Now I can approach life in a whole new way, understanding love. The gift I was given that day is knowing, really knowing, what Jesus gave for me in taking up the cross. What Noah has taught me, is what Mary teaches all of us, to trust God with all our heart, with all of soul and with all of our minds. And when we can really trust, than we can understand the words, “all things are possible with God”.

Happy Mother’s Day to Mary and the Church, help us to believe in the coming of your Son.

Feast Day of St. Nicholas

Today we celebrate the Feast Day of St. Nicholas, the patron Saint of Russia and an Arch Bishop. There are many stories of St. Nicholas and if you ask most children, it is a Saint that they have heard of, almost taking the throne of Christmas, despite the fact that Christmas really is the birth of our Savior. I wonder what St. Nicholas would think about the adaptation of his role in Christmas. As I researched St. Nicholas I was struck by one particular story.

Throughout his life St. Nicholas retained the bright and guileless manners of his early years, and showed himself to be the special protector of the innocent and the wronged. Nicholas once heard that a person who had fallen into poverty intended to abandon his three daughters for a life of sin. Determined that this would not happen, he went out during the night, and taking with him a bag of gold, flung it into the window of the sleeping father and hurried off. He, on awakening, deemed the gift a godsend, and with it dowered his eldest child.  It seemed that St. Nicholas was pleased at how this went, and returned to help with the next daughter, but this time the father was watching and waiting and saw where the bag of gold came from. The father, in such gratitude, fell at the feet of St. Nicholas and asked him why he had concealed himself from the man and thanked him for delivering himself and his daughters from hell.

The stories of St. Nicholas, as varied as they are, show us that we must work for justice; but what is justice when the word is used more about revenge and “getting even”. Justice for all people is really about making sure that the person standing next to us, or across the globe receives exactly what God would want for them. Do we ever think of what God would want to the person we are dealing with? This time of year, in 2011, giving poses quite a problem. Yes, we are in the giving and receiving mode, or at least we think we are. We struggle and sometimes even get into debt or ignore responsibilities because we want to get someone some “thing”, but when we think of what God would want for the person that we are exchanging gifts with, does it equal out to a new iPod or iPhone, or some other material item? St. Nicholas was the one who would stand up for those who are innocent and wronged, haven’t we all been wronged by the incessant message this time of year that “things” will make us happy, or “things” will make our children happy? We all know that most of us need nothing, and we long for the time when the spirit of Christmas was different. Recently I was speaking with someone and they were handed a “wish list” from their parents!!  There is something wrong about that to me. While we are in need of no-thing, we are desperately in need of meaning, of love and understanding, none of which can be bought at your local Wal-mart!

This time of year, we should be thinking of how to get our lives in prospective. While we are in the dark, we can only see shadows and so we make up our own reality. Let us commit to awaiting the light that only Jesus can bring, and then we will see life as it truly is; with the bright light we will be able to see ourselves and others as God sees us.  Like St. Nicholas, let us take on the role of protector of the innocent and the wronged and allow Jesus to be seen this Christmas. Let us put down the credit card, and give of ourselves to one another this Christmas.

So it is 11 days until the Young Adult Retreat “Metanoia” will be held.  I continue to pray for those who may be hearing God’s call to get a hold of a registration form. I think I have invited everyone that has come across my path, and have begged those around me to do the same, and so now we wait.  Like the girls in the last Sunday’s readings, I am making sure that the lamps are burning bright and that there is plenty of oil in case we wait a long time and the lamps need to be refilled. We are ready! 

And then I read the readings for this coming Sunday . . . Mt 25; 14-30 The Parable of the Talents.  I find comfort in this reading after a few hours of meditating on it, but not at first. I tend to be like the third worker, if you give me something to hold on to, I will take good care of it -- but I am not so sure that I would go and gamble it away hoping to be able to give you more when you get back. I am probably going to hope that you are happy with me that whatever it is, is returned in the same condition you gave it to me. But in this parable it is easy to see that God expects more from us than that. God has given us all of our talents, everything we have, especially our faith, and I suppose that God, as told to us through Jesus, expects us to spread the Good News. In spreading the news, we will work with God in the conversion of souls.  I suppose that is why we should not be content with merely our own salvation. Since God gives us everything, even our reputation, the fact that people think we are good, trustworthy, etc. I risk that mainstream reputation when I take on a further call to spread the Good News as it is lived out in my own gospel, the experience of Jesus Christ within my own life. How will others see me; a Jesus freak? (Oh and by the way we will not even mention the fear that people will uncover that I am really a phony, full of air, and able to pop with the slightest touch; who am I to speak on God’s behalf.) But I am reminded over and over again, that if I hear the call and do not respond, it is not only me that suffers, but my friends, my neighbors and the world. If I am given words to say, a life of joy and enthusiasm for Jesus, and I repress it, than no one gets the benefit of the message. And when we, collectively, decide we will not take up our call, than that is compounded a million times! What kind of world will we then have? Should we be surprised of the world we live in now? Lately I have been looking for a bumper sticker that says, “If not you, then who?” And so in the Parable this week, I have often wondered what would happen if at least one of them would have come back saying, “Um, I tried to make you some more and well, it didn’t go so good, so I actually have nothing to give back.” But I suppose that this is not even an option. That when one takes what they have been given, whatever the talent, and believe that it really, ultimately belongs to the Master, and takes care of that talent with passion and respect, there is no way that it will not multiply. That is part of this lesson, to believe, to live a life of passion for what you are hearing God say to you, and know that we are fertile ground and we will be more than we were at the beginning of this journey. As I close this day, I remember the words from the writings of Julian of Norwich, " ... All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well". And I hear God's gentle voice in my head saying, "Of course it will be."

Our Time is Limited

With all this talk about Saints and Souls, and then the readings of today, we are reminded that we have to be awake as we live this life. How we live our lives, and to what we deem as important is the very thing that God will judge us on. As we celebrated All Saints day we are reminded that Saints were people who somehow figured out how to be themselves, the person that God intended them to be despite their frailties and sins, and lived a good life, so much so that God intermingled with their lives so much that others around them were affected - healed by miracles. They certainly were not perfect, and a recurring theme throughout the lives of the saints is that they too believed that they were not worthy. How many times do we tell ourselves that we are not Saints, that we don't have what it takes to be one, and so we go back to sleep accepting what the world will give us and turn away from what God offers us. All we have to do is look around and we can see how we are not accepting blessings from God, the condition of the world, our towns, our neighborhoods and our families are a reflection of what we deem as important, and God does not want for us what we are living. He has something so much better in mind.

But then the question comes, what can I do about it? The task at hand seems so overwhelming, we sometimes feel that all we can do is try to be a good person and hope that this is enough. But God tells us over and over again that it is NOT enough. That if we want to be one of the chosen ones, if we really do want to live all of eternity in His presence, than we have to quiet the voices that want to convince us that we can't make a change, take a deep breath and get to work on building the Kingdom of God today. The Kingdom is available if we just get busy bringing it about. But the Devil is a cunning one, and he is hard at work making us feel that we are not good enough. The more we try to do good, the harder the Deciever works to make us feel like we are nothing. But we must listen to God who tells us that we are everything!

Today on All Souls Day, we are reminded not only that there is no separation from us and those that have gone before us, but also that our time is limited, and we must ask ourselves of what we want to be remembered for? What mark will we leave on this world? Don't let the Deceiver get the best part of you! The Devil's job is to drown out the voice of God in our lives, and he is doing his job very well. Pray to hear God's voice, and that voice, we are reminded by Saints and Souls, is saying how GOOD you are and that YOU can make a difference. Fill your lamps with God's oil, by doing what is right, by speaking when you need to, by commanding that the Devil's voice be quieted in the name of Jesus Christ our Lord who paid the price for our freedom; freedom from the oppression of evil. But we have to do our part, because as Paul asks the early followers in today's 2nd reading, "Are you unaware that we who were baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into his death?" We are intermingled with suffering and resurrection, we are called to be uncomfortable in the truth, and it is only by our death that we too may share in the resurrection. Can you imagine a morning of such bright light? The day that we embrace this fact and live a fearless life.

Humility is a strange thing; once you think you got it, you've lost it!

This week it is important for us church workers to hear the words of Jesus. Jesus says, “ They preach but they do not practice. They tie up heavy burdens and lay them on people’s shoulders, but they will not lift a finger to move them. All their works are performed to be seen… they love places of honor…”  Church work tends to, if being honest, connect us to our humble side. When we are honest with ourselves, we know that the power comes from God, that left alone we can really muck things up. When we have an awesome meeting, or encounter, when we are inspired and are able to somehow bring that inspiration to life, we must understand that the power is from God and that He is working through us to touch the people that have been placed in our care. But Church workers are human, and like everyone else we want to be recognized for the hard work that we put into it, the long hours and the sacrifices in our personal lives in order to do God’s work. But we have to be careful, because even though we are doing “God’s work” we have to know that we are more than the actions that we do, and that God loves us, no matter what we do or don’t do, the successes and the failures, even in the moments when we feel defeated and discouraged. We have to watch that we don’t see ourselves different than those we serve, our common denominator is that we are all broken in some ways and all glorious in others. We have a lot to learn from those we serve. Jesus also reminds us that we have to be living this Christian life as well as spreading the Good News. This week at Religious Ed classes, the children and I talked about what a Christian should look like … and we all decided that a Christian who is really living out the Good News should look happy and joyful, not all depressed and down, after all our actions maybe the only Gospel someone encounters. We should be showing people how awesome life can be with God, not that life is easy but that our lives show hope for something more. 

We work hard to help others experience a conversion,(Metanoia) but sometimes we have to slow down a little bit, and not place heavy burdens on the shoulders of others, especially if we are not going to “lift a finger to move them”, as Jesus says. We continually have to be mindful that conversion is hard, and scary and sometimes almost impossible in a world like ours, but we have to help people see that they are not alone. After all, we know from the readings the past few weeks, that the key is love, to love as Jesus did, in the role of the patient, self sacrificing servant. “Whoever exalts himself will be humbled; but whoever humbles himself will be exalted”.

As I was writing this, another thought drifted in. Perhaps it is important for us to pat our church workers on the back, not because the event or class went perfectly, perhaps it is simply so that person will not be starved for recognition and begin to work in a way that satisfies that need instead of the needs of parishioners.  Perhaps it is important for us to stop our church volunteers and staff, and say thank you and give them a little love, perhaps it will make all the difference in the world. This upcoming week the North Country Catholic will be publishing the Priest Appreciation Issue, take time to thank those that keep our Church going, in an imperfect world, that is dying to know God.

It’s All About Love

When Jesus replied that this Commandment was the greatest, he did sure challenge those around him and everyone else to come after. What does it mean to Love God with ALL our heart? Have you ever really thought  about it? If we love God above all else, there really is no need for the rest of the Commandments, because if I love God I will always be honest, I will always treat my neighbor with the upmost respect, I will respect my parents and all elderly, even if they haven’t always respected me, I will not live in a world that is an eye for an eye. I will do what is right, not because of some rule, but because I am totally in love with Abba – the God in which I have this unbelievable close relationship with.

When we love someone, really love them, their interest is always first and foremost on our mind. And so it is with our relationship with God. To live in justice means that I will offer to others what I know God would want for them, therefore putting God’s and his people’s interests first. With experience of living this way I will know that I live in real joy and happiness, and that doesn’t mean that life will be easy and abundant of the things of the world (remember last week’s reading?)

But Jesus doesn’t just say that this is a nice thing to do, it is the #1 Commandment, and so there is more of an emphasis that choosing to put God’s best interest first is all wrapped up in our salvation. I wonder what that means for the world in the year 2011. So many times people believe that as long as you are a “nice” person you will get to Heaven.  If I walked into a closet today, and stayed there until my death, I could say that I lived a life without hurting anyone, without saying anything that offended anyone, I was not involved in political arguments, and I did not lie, cheat, murder, covet, nor take the Lord’s name in vain – will I then go to Heaven? Or will I be asked why I didn’t feel responsible to make the world better, to bring God’s word to the hopeless or comfort the sick? While God is a loving God, I believe that he is a just God – and that while I was not a problem on earth, I did nothing to help in the creation of the Kingdom of God here on earth, now. Would I go to heaven? Or perhaps, I spent my life, continually putting myself out there, wanting to serve God, but sometimes failed and had to pick myself back up. Maybe sometimes within my zeal to speak God’s word I offended someone, or didn’t say something just right, but could make up for it with an apology – would I go to Heaven?

Do we really believe in the prospect of living with God for all eternity? Many times in this age, people don’t live with the hope of salvation primarily in their mind.  I think many people, myself included, go throughout our day, not really aware of how our actions will get us to -- or keep us from Heaven.  I believe there is life after this one with God, in which we will be reunited with those we love, and not only will we be reunited but we will see them for who they truly are and we will be seen by others for all that we truly all – we will shine with the brightness that God intended for us.

This week, let’s pay attention of our love for God, let it surround us and let us pray that we may experience God in every thought, word and deed. Let us truly - Go, and serve the Lord.

"Death is the Destination We All Share"

Yesterday, the world lost Steve Jobs, as he quietly drifted into the next dimension in life, and yet, life goes on today, -- we continue to use our I-Phones, and our I-Pads to share information and to gain knowledge. Perhaps today we reflect on how no matter our accomplishments in life - we all still end up at the same place. It is a moment we can we can use to re-evaluate our lives and reflect on how we are using our short, and borrowed, time on this earth.

In his commencement speech in 2005, Steve Jobs may have been a bit prophetic, he talked about how, death was the destination that we all had in common. (I recommend you read the entire address at http://news.stanford.edu/news/2005/june15/jobs-061505.html ) Are we spending our time, living our own lives, spending it immersed in what we love? It is an age old question, asked by most people, especially when the news of a terminal illness is at hand. But it is also the question that Jesus prompted us to ask, and something that Jesus was very concerned with for all - Are we living the life, that not only would we be proud of, but would God be smiling on our return to Him?  In the last few weeks we have been hearing about the vineyard parables of Jesus, discussions about our responsibility of taking care of the vineyard, of knowing that we are merely tenants, and that all the blessings of good crops, are to be used for the greater good of all people and returned to the Master. Jesus was very concerned for our souls, as we should be, even in 2011, amidst a world that is very concerned with the "me".  I think we have gotten out of the habit of asking ourselves how we are doing following the 10 Commandments, that somehow they are "old fashioned" and our "new" idea of God is that he will know what is in my heart -- after all I am a good person. We forget, or perhaps, specifically leave out, the fact that God is a just God, and even the fairest judge in a court, would feel sorry for the murderer, who was the nice guy, but was at the wrong place at the wrong time, and would still have to give out a prison sentence that fit with the crime. We water down everything that speaks badly of our own judgment, but look at others differently; we hope that God will give us lots of exceptions and perhaps secretly hope that we will be able to use the excuse of "I didn't know".  Perhaps it is too darn scary to look at ourselves naked in the truth of who we have become, for a plethora of reasons, and on the other hand it is as scary to figure out how to change what we do and what has come a habit of living for us. Even when we know the results would be a transformation in Light.

It is interesting that Steve Jobs teaches us of the amazing thing a human is capable of in this world when he or she has focus and a vision. He made much money and fame on being focused in producing a product that is probably the most distracting for all its users. We are plugged into the world 24/7 with the help of the computer age and yet we have somehow unplugged ourselves from the real source of life that has been present all along. As I am writing this blog today, I also have to admit that this thing in which I type on can also be used to bring about the message of God to all those who actively seek it. It is the "actively seek it" part that we all seem to struggle with, since distractions just somehow "pop" up.

It would be great if Mr. Jobs could have devised an "after life web cam" before he left us, so that the important part of the message, the part that was still hidden to him on the day of that commencement speech, could be revealed to us. What is the consequence of a life well lived, how far can we push things, what effect does our life's work have on our final destination?  How much is enough to give to others and still get to heaven? It is something that we have in common, that we will all one day pass through the doors of death, and it is also our common ground that while on earth we run from this fact.

The Messy Vineyard

OH, another week with so much in the reading that jumps out from the page to my heart…don’t you just love it when it does that? (To tell the truth I begin to feel a bit overwhelmed to get all my thoughts out there) so today I will try to spread it out over a few days. As always I praise God who is alive in my life and in the world!

This weeks upcoming readings: Is 5:1-7, Phil 4:6-9 and Mt 21:33-43

First reading -- I love how it begins, kind of like the beginning of the Beverly Hill Billies, go ahead and read the first lines, with the tune in the back of your mind! Did you see the comparison? Lol  But enough musings ...

Here is a picture of vineyard, who when so guarded, all that grew were “wild grapes”! And so, the owner of the vineyard is going to let whatever happen, happen to the vineyard, in hopes of getting something different. Now I am no theologian or scripture scholar, I really only go by what I hear in my head and heart about the readings at hand. But boy did this strike me. When I grew up, so many things about the church were “guarded”, parishioners it seemed, knew their place and pretty much remained there. The “jobs” of the church were taken care of by “special” people, and somehow things got done, Church was there on Sunday and you didn’t really have to worry about it. But, even with so much given us, and I am referring to those now in their 30s and 40s, it seems that we have grown “wild” that we do not have a deep appreciation for this Catholic faith and are, for the most part, doing a horrible job in passing that faith to the next generation. So many young adults (and not so young adults) don’t know much about the teachings of the faith (and I am talking about the REAL teachings, not what you learn on the “streets”) and so are luke warm about not only the Catholic faith, but are luke warm about God in general. Take a look at families, schools, governments, etc., and we can see how the watering down of commitments to God has affected our whole world.  And so the result is a Church in great need of love and caretaking, falling and being left for dead. But ohhhh, the opportunity God is giving us!!! Yes, this, in a way is a GOOD thing! In the past few weeks we have heard about a man’s son who says he will work in the vineyard but doesn’t go and a son who says no but then changes his mind, of people who work in the vineyard for different amounts of time, but all get the same pay, don’t we see, for so many of us, who said (and say) that we are bringing Christ into the world, but didn’t when given an opportunity, or we say that we know our faith, but don’t when it is time to teach the lessons to our children, we have an opportunity to change our minds AND to get the same pay – heaven.  It is when the walls of the Church have fallen, when She needs our attention and care, that we are invited, with all of our gifts into this messy vineyard, that we can have a change of mind and heart, and to roll up our sleeves and get to work living and proclaiming the message of Jesus Christ. We have a second chance, and we can be the small, vulnerable sprouts of the good grapes because through the sacrifice of Jesus Christ we have been made new again. The time is now, and not to settle for less than what Jesus death on the cross provides for us.  It is not a time to blame and to find excuses, we ALL got here together, and together we will rise!

Reaching out to God's Abundant Gifts

Image via Wikipedia

Reaching out seems to be the theme of my days lately. Being that I am pretty independent (probably to a fault) God is helping me to realize that I really do need others, not only in my home life or my work life but also in my spiritual life. I long for moments when I am able to share, both talking about, and listening to others talk about, God's great work in their life. Lately I have been meeting so many people who have shared their stories with me and I am so grateful. Every day, I hear God saying to me, "Reach Out".

In the readings for this week, we continue to hear about Jesus' public ministry, and how this crowd always seems to be around Him. What struck me this week, is the fact that the disciples were concerned about the crowd being hungry, and ask Jesus to dismiss them so they can go themselves something to eat. Jesus very nicely tells the disciples that they don't need to send them to get food for themselves, that they are, in a sense, responsible to feed them. Something all of us could learn. For me, it reminded me that in ministry, we feed people, and sometimes, maybe even most times, we are not convinced that we have enough to feed all the people that are around us. I often get anxious, and think, "What do I have to say?" or "How can I help people see God in their everyday life, enough for them to be inspired to dedicate themselves in the continual building of the kingdom?" Most days, I just don't feel like I am enough. But then I remember that God did make me enough, if I only believe in his greatness, and that God wouldn't ask me to do something that He didn't prepare me for or in which He is not ready to give me everything I need to be successful. (Last weeks readings tell us that.) The question is, do I have enough faith to believe it? Do I have enough faith to believe in the words I hear in Romans this week:

What will separate us from the love of Christ?
Will anguish, or distress, or persecution, or famine,
or nakedness, or peril, or the sword?
No, in all these things we conquer overwhelmingly
through him who loved us.

Not even my own fears can separate me from the love of my Father in Heaven! God waits for me patiently, gently loving me until I can get over myself and get going on the work at hand. Always loving me perfectly. Today I heard a quote from Meister Eckhart that went something like...”I pray to God to get rid of "God". That is … to get rid of the God that lives in my head - that is comprehensible by my human brain which is so limited (and at times keeps me from the real God that is incomprehensible)doesn't really allow me to experience the immense Love that God is pouring to me. It is like the loaves and the fishes in the gospel this week, we think that there is not enough, I am not enough, the Church is not enough, the love I have in my life is not enough, and somehow, when our lives can be offered to our Father, we find that we have had more than we needed to be satisfied. Faith that all things work for good for those who love God.

I am thirsty, and each day is a step closer to the well and the life abundant that God has in store for me.

Take the Treasure or Buy the Field?

Image by quadrapop via Flickr

In the reading for the upcoming Sunday, Jesus tells more parables.  Jesus tells the disciples that:  “The kingdom of heaven is like a treasure that is buried in a field, which a person finds and hides again, and out of joy goes and sells all that he has and buys that field.” I think that it is really important for the young church to hear these words from Jesus. I think that we walk around this world thinking that things are going to come easy. Or we at least hope that they will. But Jesus is very clear, that the person who found the buried treasure didn’t just take it on the sly and run with it. He or she actually reburied it and went and sold all that he/she had and bought the field. This really makes the buried treasure rightfully his or hers.  Finding God or a Church that becomes a sacrament of Jesus for us, is really something that we have to sell all we have for. We have to give up all the things that we thought our life would hold, and have trust in this faith of ours that God will break us open and make us new, and better than we ever thought we could be and our life could be and in turn a better world than we could ever imagine. Letting go of all our planning and scheming for our own life is scary, and it is so anti-cultural since our world tells us that we are the designers of our own destiny. Without that ultimate letting go we cannot become the person that God sees in us. God’s mind is so much wider and deeper than we can ever imagine.

I think that the question for us to ask ourselves, as the young people of our church is– what are we prepared to pay for that field that holds the kingdom of God? What are we willing to give our church so that it can be a reflection of God’s kingdom here on earth? As I said in other blog entries, we are not meant to do this religion thing alone, we are meant to reach out to those around us, and to give who we are so that in turn we can be the best of who we are.

Are we trying to sneak off with the buried treasure without buying the field?

Watch the movie, Of God and Men, totally worth living through the subtitles ... great example of men who bought the field!