ReJoice!!!

What "REJOICING" looks like . . .

Where were you on 9/11?

Where were you on September 11th, 2001? It is a question that I am sure is being asked today, as our nation remembers the day our world changed with a quick strike of violence. I remember where I was, I was in my car driving to a job interview, and when I got to the interview, everyone was very distracted of the story that was being watched on tv and heard on the radio; I remember thinking that it just was so unreal, that this couldn't be happening. It was very frightening, as the news of other planes dropping out of the sky and innocent people, just going about their business lost their lives, made last minute phone calls to love ones and then where just gone! It was just unbelievable. All I wanted to do was get home with my 2 year old son and just hold him close to me. I just wanted to be with people I loved, and suddenly the future was unsure.

We humans are a funny bunch, because 11 years have passed, and in some ways, we have forgotten about the terror of that day; we have somehow been able to get back to the daily concerns of our lives. But I think that it was amazing that the whole country that day, understood that life is really not in our hands and that it can be taken away from us at any time. Do we use up our days to their fullest or do we live each day like it could be our last? Do we take the opportunity to help our neighbor when called on? Do we say "yes" to all the sacrifices that God puts before us for our love of Him and for his people? Do we put our lives in prospective each moment of the day? Do we tell people that they matter to us? Do we forgive those who have hurt us so that we are no longer held captive by our own resentment, anger or hurt?

Today, let us pray for those souls that were innocently going about their business that day, let us honor them today by not letting this day, which is a gift from God go by without our notice; begin today to be present in this day, say hello to that stranger going by, tell your family you love them and put your life in perspective. I really believe that those who lost their lives that day, our begging us to never forget, and to be present to the day God has given us. 

Dicussion on Faithful Citizenship - Oct. 21st and 22nd!

In the coming weeks, I really want to get out as much information as possible to people before we go into the voting booth. It is so important, now more than ever, for every Catholic to be informed and counted this election year. I also think that it is a very confusing time to vote as well! If you are like me, you feel that both parties seem to be lacking real truth, and therefore our vote may cause us some real anxiety.  I sometimes have a hard time voting for a candidate because of one topic, and if I vote one way on an issue, another group of people in the US will suffer. It is a difficult road to navigate, and sometimes a real hard topic to talk with people about as everyone is passionate about one issue or another. In an effort to give people a place to learn about the issues, ask questions and find a political conviction that coincides with our Catholic beliefs, the Office of Young Adult Ministry will be sponsoring a Discussion on Faithful Citizenship, a two evening webinar with Kathleen Gallagher and Dennis Poust of the New York State Catholic Conference. Parishioners across the Diocese of Ogdensburg will have a chance to engage in discussions about our call to Faithful Citizenship. Participants will be able to log in on their own computer at home, however, we are encouraging people to gather in groups, begin the discussion over a pot luck dinner, or dessert and coffee and log in together, either at your home, a friends home, or a parish center. As long as you have internet connection you will be able to attend.

To participate, please send an email requesting log in information to lturgeon@dioogdensburg.org or phone 315-323-4989 for more information.

For more information on Faithful Citizenship visit http://www.usccb.org/issues-and-action/faithful-citizenship/

Become like Children

"Amen, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children,

you will not enter the Kingdom of heaven.

Whoever becomes humble like this child

is the greatest in the Kingdom of heaven.

And whoever receives one child such as this in my name receives me."

On Sunday, we hopefully, learned that we are to not give up, to trust God in our journey, that we will be fed and that we have to keep our eye on Him at the top of the mountain.  And Paul reminds us that our duty as  Catholics/Christians is to love one another, forgive one another and to be imitators of Christ. I think that today, we hear about what follows when we have decided to live that way, and that is to be vulnerable to our neighbors: What if someone takes advantage of me? To live like Christ makes us very vulnerable, and Jesus teaches how vulnerable we can be as he walked the journey to the cross. Children do not think about the consequences in loving someone, they love unconditionally, and even when people do not treat them the best.  In my daily work in the mental health arena, I am often reminded that even when parents do not parent well, even in times of abuse, a child will still see something good in their parents and they will always want their love and feel loyal to them. As we get older, we decide that we are now "adults" and we must be taken seriously, and NO ONE will make a fool of us!!! But this attitude often stops us from feeding the poor, clothing the naked, loving the unlovable; and when we stop doing those things, than we can never be close to God.  We have to leave our fear at the altar, and go being open to all that cross our paths, the lonely, the hungry, etc.  without worrying about the negative consequences that might happen to us. Of course we have to be smart and be safe, but those circumstances are far and few be,ween in our lives, but everyday we pass people by without a smile or hello, and sometimes that is just what a person needs.  

St. Maximilian Kolbe teaches us how to be open to others in need, to trust God even in the most dangerous times, and to believe our faith so much that we will risk our lives for it. St. Maximilian was only a child when he had a vision of Mary, it is documented that he was 12 years old when he had the vision.  [This is an excerpt from the book, "Maximilian Kolbe Saint of Auschwitz" by Elaine Murray Stone]

     Raymond seemed embarrassed to reveal his secret. But finally, shaking with emotion, he obeyed and told her. "One day, when I was praying before the painting of Our Lady of Czestochowa in church" he began softly, "Our Lady appeared to me."

     Maria's broad face looked shocked. Could this be true, or was her son being sacrilegious? Even worse, perhaps he was going crazy. But she nodded for Raymond to continue. 
     "Our Lady was holding out two crowns. One was white, the other red. She gazed at me lovingly and asked, 'Which of these crowns do you desire?' Then the Virgin told me that if I chose the white crown I would remain pure for life. The red one was a martyr's crown. I thought about the choice for a minute. Then I told her, 'I want both of them.' The Virgin smiled sweetly at me. Then she disappeared."

     As he spoke, Raymond's face glowed with peace and innocence.  His mother could not help believing what he told her. But the greatest proof of the vision was the immediate change in her son's behavior. Obviously, something miraculous had taken place and transformed him. 

His life was the proof that he did indeed have a miraculous change. Unless we open ourselves, so that we are vulnerable, the heavens cannot come down and be a part of our life and we can not complete the journey God has in store for us. So many children throughout the ages have been the chosen ones of sacred messages from our Mother in heaven. She had faith in them, because they were open to her, they loved her with no reserve and therefore worthy of the promises we recieve in Christ Jesus. 

Jesus we ask you to open our hearts, to open our minds to that which is your will in our lives, help us to have total faith in you so that we may reveal your love to others, help us to be like St. Maximilian and not hold anything from You. 

To Pay or Not to Pay?

Sometimes the readings for the day just make us scratch our heads and say “Huh?” which I think is the reaction we may have to today’s readings. But fear not, there is much to see in the readings for today. I think as we head into this election year, they may be very fitting to what we got going on these days.

Does Jesus pay the temple taxes? – is the topic of the day. Remember the Jewish leaders were really trying to find something on this guy and at every turn they really thought that they would get them. We also have to remember that the temple tax was what the Jewish people paid, not to keep the temple going so much, but they saw it as atonement for their sins, and were commanded to do so in Exodus 30. Now since Jesus was the Son of God and was sinless, was it necessary for him to pay this tax? You also have to wonder if, being asked the question, was Peter just answering the question in a way that would not cause trouble and did he really know if Jesus actually paid the tax or not. Can you imagine Peter walking into the room where Jesus was and him thinking, how to bring up the subject with Jesus in paying this tax? After being told by Jesus himself that he would be taken and killed, it would be natural for Peter to want to keep Jesus out of trouble. Jesus though, knows exactly what Peter needs, and that is an answer to this tax issue. Jesus brings up the issue of the temple tax, it seems pretty clear that Jesus probably doesn’t, really have to pay the tax when looked at theologically, but even Jesus agrees to pay the tax “not to offend them”.  So he tells Peter to pay the tax, gives him a way to get the money to pay for it, and pays for Peter’s tax as well.  So what does that tell us now and why is it so important in our own time and world?

Peter, represents the Church in scripture, and often, the Church is always is in a balancing act between the political world and the spiritual. It is one of the reasons why I am proud to be a Catholic -- we ARE a voice in the world and we do not hide from commenting and exercising our religious rights in order for good to be done in the world. No, we do not endorse candidates or have big dinner parties to raise money for a particular party, but we are the voice of the poor and disenfranchised, and so many Catholics not only talk about rights of the poor, they actually give up their own lives for those in need. Hopefully, you have heard the continuing issues that arise from the recent HHS Mandate.  Check out The 6 Things Everyone Should Know About the HHS Mandate at http://usccb.org/news/2012/12-021.cfm.  Many lawsuits by Catholic Dioceses and organizations have been filed to fight this mandate that forces us, Catholics, to pay for things that we are absolutely morally opposed to; and many of these lawsuits have already been dismissed in favor of the government mandate.  So what do we do as Catholics? Last week, Gus Lloyd, who is a well known Catholic author and has a morning radio show on the Catholic Channel, had callers call in to his show to answer the question “Should the Church pay the fines that will incur if Catholic institutions refuse to follow the mandate?” In the light of today’s Gospel reading, what do you think? Should the Church just do what the government wants them to do, so not to offend, should we practice civil disobedience and not follow the mandate and pay the fine, or do we go even further and not follow the mandate and refuse to pay the fine?

Notice in today’s reading, the coin to pay the fine was in a fish? Which I think, reminds us that the answers come from God, we must listen to Jesus words, do what He tells us, and the answer will be revealed.

Under the Broom Tree

So much food in the readings today! It is just a reminder that we need to keep ourselves fueled, both physically and spiritually.  I just love the first reading from 1 Kings 19; Elijah heads into the dessert and makes it one day before sitting under the broom tree and literally asking God to take his life … I think it is the Old Testament version of “enough all ready!”.  Elijah tells God that he is no better than his ancestors and so why, why would God think that he can use him to bring about something good.  You can just tell that Elijah is tired, hungry and just can’t go on, and would rather just die under that broom tree.  And so he falls asleep.  Given up.  But that is not God’s plan and so he sends an angel to, “order” not ask or inspire or nudge, but “orders” Elijah to get up and then he sees the food that his body needed and so he takes the food and eats it, and … he goes back to sleep!  And so the angel must come again, and “ordered” him again to get up and eat and move along on the journey that is his to complete. And from that one day on his own in the dessert, once taken the food from heaven, he is able to journey 40 days and 40 nights!

There have been times in my life where I know what the journey is that God wants me to go on, I can feel it to the core of my being what God is asking me to do. I begin my journey into the dessert, and yea, within 1 day, I am sitting under my broom tree, asking God to just end it here, saying “enough all already!” Then  God gives me what I need to continue on the journey, maybe food doesn’t pop out of nowhere, but someone will say an encouraging word, all the sudden a problem is solved that was holding me back, so many things happen in a miraculous way.  I take the experience and find myself, instead of getting up and continuing the journey, I lie back down, and find some other reason not to go on.  Sometimes we are in such despair of our own journey, that we do wish that we would be let off the hook.  Then, God sends another message, and we find ourselves, IF we nourish ourselves in the food that He gives us, an ability to continue our journey and accomplish things that we never thought we could.  The nourishment from heaven strengthens us, we don’t know how it does but it does and that is grace.  God changes us.

Elijah felt that he was no better than his ancestors, that somehow where he came from destined him to be “less than” God had intended for him.  In the Gospel reading, the people around Jesus heard him refer to himself as the “bread that came down from heaven” and they are confused, because isn’t he the son of Joseph and Mary?  Isn’t he just a kid from our town?  What good can really come out of Nazareth?  Have you ever tried to change something about yourself, and find that those closest to you are the ones that are making it hardest for you to change?  I have always been on a diet it seems, and when I am motivated to change it is those closest to me that seem to tell me that I am fine the way I am, or offer me delicious foods, etc.  Think of all the preconceptions people have of those who are recovering alcoholics or drug abusers , or people who have spent time in prison, how hard it is for people to change their lives, not because of a lack of wanting to or knowing they have to but because of the lack of support in their own communities.  Even us “christians” have to ask ourselves am I allowing people to change in the spirit of God or am I contributing to holding them back from their own journeys, the road that God has put them on, and has all the confidence in the world that they will walk 40 days and 40 nights – given the proper nourishment.  

In that small second reading, Paul reminds us,  “Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with which you were sealed for the day of redemption. All bitterness, fury, anger, shouting, and reviling must be removed from you, along with all malice. And be kind to one another, compassionate, forgiving one another as God has forgiven you in Christ. So be imitators of God, as beloved children, and live in love, as Christ loved us and handed himself over for us as a sacrificial offering to God for a fragrant aroma.”

Live in love, forgive one another, support one another, this is the call we receive from our Father in heaven.  Each day we recite the Our Lord’s prayer, and we ask God for forgiveness as we forgive others. Many times we tell people that they need to “forgive themselves” but the reality is, that if we do not forgive those that God places in our lives, we will never be able to feel God’s forgiveness of our own trespasses.  If we never have the chance to really love another, we will never be able to feel God’s love for us.  So get out there, and live and love so that you can feel what it means for God to love and forgive you.

Jesus is the bread of life… and we receive that life through the Eucharist, like the food sent to Elijah, in a moment of great need to continue his journey, we come to the altar – in need, and we receive that which is Jesus, and we consume Him, that small piece of bread, enters into our body, and becomes a part of every one of our cells, so that we know longer know where we end and where God begins, we change, we are able to be imitators of God because we have Him in us.  What would happen if the world knew this? It is our journey to make it known by our words and our actions; it is known because we are not afraid to speak of God in us, we don’t care where we came from but know that God has something awesome in store for our lives and that is the life we want to grab on to. Love one another, forgive those who we never thought we could, and experience freedom, the real kind.   

The Meaning of the Lady Bug

Last night as I was journaling as I try to do at least a few nights a week, I was busy writing down all the complaints of my life, (after all yesterday I did take a Kia Soul and hit my other Kia Rondo in my driveway) and so after the day I had I felt a little justified! But had I been doing what I was suppose to be doing, and followed through on my promises to people, perhaps one of the cars wouldn't have been where it was when I was backing up. And so with this realization, of course I began to panic about all the other places in my life that are not neat and tidy and are in this place of limbo. I didn't write much in my journal until, out of nowhere a lady bug lands on my bed, about 2 feet from me. I always find it strange that lady bugs seem to come out of nowhere. Being that I am so into destractions these days, I looked up what the symbolism of the lady bug was, and found my "God message" for the day {I never fall asleep before trying to figure out the message of the day}... so here are some facts about the lady bug:

- in the middle ages the lady bug was dedicated to Our Lady the Virgin Mary, and was called the "beetle of Our Lady" hence the name Lady Bug
- Their life cycle requires about four weeks, so several generations are produced each summer.  This cycle ties the ladybug to the energies of renewal and regeneration. Because the life cycle of the adult ladybug is short it teaches us how to release worries and enjoy our lives to the fullest.  When it appears in our life it is telling us to "let go and let God."

These are just some of the things I found surfing the web; and by this point in my journaling, the Lady Bug, had settled on the top of my hand as I wrote. I thought, how small this beetle is, with really nothing to protect her (or him) and yet it walks all over me, perhaps feeling my energy through his (or her) tiny feet and yet lady bugs do not seem to be afraid to make themselves known as other bugs are. Yet there is something so joyful about the lady bug.  But this lady bug was reminding me that joy and fear can not exist together, that you have to decide to either be joyful and explore the world with no boundaries, or be fearful and hide. And so now, when I see a lady bug, I will take it as a sign from my heavenly Mother, to decide to live in joy instead of fear!

I wanted to make sure that the lady bug was safe, but before I knew it, it had disappeared. When I read back what I had written at the top of the journal entry the problems didn't seem to matter. 

Today's Gospel reading reminds us what comes in tiny packages, and that even though it begins tiny the mustard seed is meant to grow mighty and strong. Sometimes we all feel small, especially with all the things happening in the world. How can I make a change?  We feel too small to make a difference. But somehow God will use us to make the change that is so desperately needed if we just have faith, even the faith of a mustard seed.

Childlike Belief

I have to apologize for taking a break from the “Blog” During Lent I thought that I needed a little time to think of the “point” of the blog.  I read that there are over 500 Catholic blogs on the internet, some are good and some not so good, but you would think with that many people reflecting and writing that most people could find a place to find inspiration, information, and dialogue.  I have to admit that I really began to just feel like everything was just, “blah, blah, blah”. Too many words and not enough “action”.  I say this not toward others but more inwardly to myself. My initial intent was to take a few weeks off, regroup and then get back to writing or hopefully inviting others to write -- as I know, with all that I am, this isn’t suppose to be about me. But I never realized the twists and turns of life that would happen from that point.

I want to have this notion that God is in every moment of my life, walking with me at all times. And I can’t help but believe that if God is with me He would take an active part of my life. In the past weeks I have reflected on the idea of “belief”, what does believing in God mean?  I once heard a preacher talking about belief and what he said always stuck in my head.  He asked the congregation, if, when they walked into the church they believed that the chair in which they would sit in would actually hold them. Did they have to over analyze the chair that they were about to sit in. Would you spend time thinking of who made the chair, what if someone tampered with the chair just to spite you, perhaps the person setting up the chair didn’t really care if they were broken or not, maybe even though the chair looks in good working order there is something intrinsically wrong with it that will make you fall.  What if you walked into the church and you decided not to sit down, you just couldn’t believe that the chair was something you could trust in and while you more than likely wouldn’t lose your life if you fell out of the chair, there is no way you were going to endure the embarrassment and possible laughs that would come from you falling off the chair!  So while everyone sits, here you stand – not trusting. For me, this story really highlights the problem with my “belief”, while I say that I “believe” do I trust God enough to go out and do the “action” that would correlate with the actions of someone who truly believes in God. Am I ok with the ridicule or comments that might be made if I truly act and speak from what I believe in my heart and mind? I don’t always live in the connected way that I should between my beliefs and my actions. I tend not to trust things that I can’t control and unfortunately this often means that I don’t trust the people that God puts in my path, and what the problem with that is, until I can trust the people that I can see and tangibly relate with each day, the less I will be able to have a true belief in God. And that means that sometimes, I will give opportunities for people to say things about me like I am silly, naïve, etc. and I really hate feeling like others are making fun of me.  But as a Baptized Catholic this is exactly what I am called to do, to not care if I am ridiculed but as Mary reminds us, “Do what he tells you!”  And often, doing what God tells you to do, is doing it in an attitude that is “childlike” and not “childish”. When we do God’s will in a childish way, we find ourselves saying things like, “It’s not fair!” or “I didn’t do it, it’s not my fault” or even perhaps even worse, “Its too hard, I can’t do it!” But when we take up our crosses and do the will of God, we find ourselves being childlike, saying things like, “I will do it, will you help me?” or “I want to do it simply because I love you.” and we do the task in an enthusiastic way because we haven’t thought about why we shouldn’t do it and what it will cost.

Today in our readings (MT 11:25), Jesus exclaimed: "I give praise to you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, for although you have hidden these things from the wise and the learned you have revealed them to the childlike.”  I am going to pray and work on being more childlike, more trusting and more loving, without question and without fear, so that whatever it is that God is trying to reveal to me, it will be and not hidden because of all my intelligence.

[Oh, and so while I "took a short break" I talked myself everyday into another reason not to get back to it, and more on the "twists and turns" to come in future blogs.]

Trying to be a good Catholic, but something ALWAYS comes up!

Do you remember the story recently about a teacher who was working for a religious school and suffered from narcolepsy, she left her position to seek medical treatment, and when she came back her position was no longer available. The Supreme Court, all 9 Justices unanimously ruled that religious law overrides civil law and that the teacher could not sue the institution for violation of the American Disabilities Act.  Now, it seems that everything has changed when speaking about reproduction and health care, it seems that religious law is not taken into consideration at all. I am confused as to how these rulings come about.

I try to be a good Catholic, and over and over again I miss the mark, and most of the time the struggle to be a good, socially conscious Catholic, is overwhelming and I begin to understand why so many have given up the fight. Don’t get me wrong I am not proposing that the Church “lighten up a bit” so that I can feel good about myself – because I do believe in the position of the Catholic Church on all counts. Once we begin to want to follow the Church it is more and more apparent of how the world is in real conflict with what God had intended for His creation. As a parent, it is very upsetting that we are, as in Luke writes, sending our children "like lambs among wolves".  It is disheartening, overwhelming, and apparent that we cannot be “good” Catholics on our own. I know for myself, I don’t know what to do.

Next weekend, the Bishop (Terry LaValley) has issued a letter to be placed in each bulletin throughout the Diocese explaining to the faithful the importance of us knowing about and understanding the latest ruling by the Dept of Health and Human Services that almost all employers, including Catholic employers, will be forced to offer their employees health coverage that includes sterilization, abortion-inducing drugs, and contraception.  Almost all health insurers will be forced to include those “services” in the health policies they write.  Almost all individuals will be forced to buy that coverage as a part of their policies.

As I said, I am very confused and kind of ashamed. I must admit that I have never really put that much thinking into what my insurance plan pays or doesn’t pay for and how that affects me. After all, my insurance plan pays for alcohol and drug rehab which I have never needed and hope never need! I had a sense that I was paying for things that I would never use, but that insurance was a “collective” way of paying health care costs, each of its members getting what they need. I never researched or asked if my insurance plan pays for infertility treatments or Viagra or abortions or the day after pill or transgender reassignment surgery or a host of other things that do not come into line with my beliefs as a Catholic. I just never thought about it. But now it is hard to ignore when we receive this information through our parishes. And again I find myself wondering if I have to make some hard choices.

I work for a non for profit agency, funded by federal, state and local monies. We receive a pretty good benefits package which includes a 50/50 share on health insurance. I know that if I went out and tried to purchase equal insurance on my own, it could send my family into financial ruin, or most probably we would join the millions of Americans who are uninsured. If we were to suffer a serious health issue, I would find myself in ruins. Am I not supposed to be responsible to my family and take care of the child that God has blessed me with the best way I can? And so I today, as I read the letter from the Bishop and I look on the internet for more information, I find myself once again, feeling like a horrible, weak Catholic – that I may choose to continue to accept the adequate insurance coverage I receive through my non-religious employment. I have no clue as I write this the answer . . .  but I have a feeling that I am not alone in my concern. Many Catholics find themselves conflicted with teachings ALL THE TIME!!

As I reflect on this and other topics, it always makes me think of the early church members, how they were trying to figure out how to follow Jesus in the midst of a world that seemed opposed (sound familiar?) Let us pray for all of us who are trying to live our faith, that we will have the courage to make the changes in our life necessary and the wisdom to trust God in this walk of our faith.

Maybe one way to start is to get involved is being a part of the NYS Catholic Conference Public Policy Day on March 13th, in Albany NY. You can get information from the website http://www.nyscatholic.org/?s=policy+day ; Please let me know if you are interested in participating; we will be having on line meetings as the date approaches.

Teach Me Your Ways O Lord . . .

We all have lessons to learn … everyday.  If life is lived well, then everyday has been a lesson; hopefully a lesson in holiness.  Time is going by so fast that it is hard to believe that the holidays have passed so quickly, and we find ourselves back in “ordinary time”.  But as we live our lives it doesn’t seem like “ordinary times” at all. This weekend our attentions turn to Washington DC and the March for Life.  So many of our brothers and sisters from the Diocese have made the trek to stand up for Life, have a voice and be counted.  In the Gospel we continue to see Jesus choosing his disciples, asking them to leave the familiar and follow him.  As usual, our weekly readings relate to the events of life.  This will be my first March for Life and I am looking forward to learning from those I will meet these two days of travel. 

But I truly believe that honesty is the best policy, and as I have been struggling to write this blog this week, trying harder to make myself look good, rather than write what I struggle with – I have chose to be honest. I have such admiration for those who have taken time out of their lives to attend this march -- to leave families, the comfort of their own homes, put themselves out to chaperone buses filled with teens - who will have an opportunity to experience the freedom of speech and to gather in one voice in triumph for those who cannot speak for themselves -is inspirational, and here I sit, a little less than excited about sleeping the next two nights on a bus, diving into a crowd in possibly bad weather to speak up for something I don’t even know will ever change. I am ashamed to say it, but I am not leaving tomorrow with positive excitement.  As a Catholic, I have always wondered if I should vote simply on the person who promises to reverse Roe vs Wade in their campaign speech. Conservative Republicans have come and gone promising to uphold the core values that we believe in and still there is no change. Roe vs Wade has not been reversed, family values have not been upheld and it seems that Hollywood has much more influence in how our government makes decisions than a group of hundreds and thousands of Christians who believe in the sanctity of life right outside the government leaders doors.  The March for Life, reminds me of the fact that our families are dying, that kids are more apt to take advice from MTV than a loving parent, that men still do not see themselves as the leaders of their families, that girls grow up not knowing their own worth and therefore settle for the love of those who will not cherish them but simply use their bodies. It reminds me that we live in a culture that sex is as casual as a handshake and that we lie not only with our words but with our bodies. That we have such a difficult time admitting that our hearts are broken, and we are left yearning for something more and yet we know it can only be satisfied by God. It seems that politicians say what they need to say in order to get elected but never see themselves as servants to all of us who just want to have a good, decent life. It overwhelms me to know that the Abortion issue is a result of all of our sins, and it is our responsibility to live in a way that would never make a woman or a girl, a man or a boy even think about killing their own child.  We live in a culture where Grandma is denied cataract surgery and grandpa is offered Viagra – children live in poverty in single parent homes and wall street bankers get bailed out!

I think that many people are not so different than me, overwhelmed with all the rhetoric. What is the right answer? Why do we not march for the life and sanctity of families, because I really think that it is the cause of such evils as abortion. We have forgotten the importance of the mother and father and their roles in the home and in society. We have been told that we do not need to feel that we are getting older, stay young -- when we can’t, and that it is a sin not to take up our role as mature adults, especially in the lives of our children, all the world’s children.  There is nothing that I have been more sure of than God’s presence at the birth of my son, the gift of life.  His conception was all wrong, but God made a beautiful perfection from an unholy mess. I, like many of the women who are the center of this debate, found myself alone, penniless and afraid, but I had something that many, if not all, the women who have abortions don’t have, and that is that many years ago, someone took my hand and placed it into the hand of Jesus and taught me how to trust in Him and in nothing else. When I found myself alone, because of my doubt and sin, I knew right away that Jesus was by my side and that we would get through it together – if everyday I asked myself if I had done all that I could, and if I was honest about it. Like the disciples that Jesus choose to be his followers, we have to help people put their hand in Jesus’ hand, we have to evangelize to others – we have to give our time so that the children in our church and community will feel loved and protected, and will never feel less than the beautiful perfection God made them, and then they will never find themselves in front of an abortion clinic – not because it is against the law, but because they know they are a child of God.

Know your faith – and then use your time to pass it along, be a part of teaching the faith.

Epiphany – God’s Way of Saying “Get Moving!”

I Googled “Epiphany” images and found this one and thought how wonderful it was. This small child certainly looks like he/she has had an “epiphany” and I thought how much this picture symbolizes what we should be like when we think about the miraculous event of Christmas; that God has loved us so much that He sent his only begotten son to live among us and to teach us what it means to be a son or daughter of God.  I don’t know about you, but I want to be like this when I encounter Jesus in my life. Like the shepherds and the wise men, have we seen our star; that light that calls us out of our comfort zone, that thing that gives us hope that our lives can be different – better?  We all have something inside of us that leaves us yearning for something more, searching for meaning of our existence and I think that God gives us the light in the darkness, but so often we ignore that it is God. God calls us, just like the shepherds and the wise men to get moving – to find the treasure that lies beneath the star that God shines brightly for each one of us. We all reach our Epiphany at different times, in different ways, God has a journey for each one of us and He offers the greatest gift, if we will take the journey, trust in Him and believe that God is truly with us.

Keep Things in Perspective! (And pray every day for the world to do the same)

This Christmas Season I decided to be quiet. To stop talking, stop writing, stop having an opinion and listen, just listen. As you can see from the last entry to this blog it has been a very quiet time for the Office of Young Adult Ministry, and a very quiet time for me. As I headed into the busy season of Advent and Christmas, I found myself more and more quiet, watching the hustle and bustle of people around me, the acquisition of more and more stuff that people don’t really need; the adoption of this Christian holiday by people who are not very (if at all) Christian the other days of the year (even my Jewish friends were busy decorating their Christmas tree and buying presents), the television shows, commercials and store music that really made you feel like an alien if you were not so ready to buy into the whole thing.  I found myself wondering what I could get my son that would make his eyes twinkle and shriek with excitement on Christmas – because to tell you the truth, I needed that more than anything because he is growing up and there is no little boy in my house any longer.  Despite him telling me that he didn’t need anything I wanted to get him something, and the world around me told me that I did too.  On Christmas Eve I found myself pretty depressed that as a single mother, I really couldn’t justify threatening the mortgage payment, or heating fuel, or – oh yea, Christmas Eve my furnace decided to get sick, so an emergency visit of a repairman on Christmas Day also didn’t help – and all along my son told me that he didn’t need anything. But as parents we all know that the abundance of Christmas isn’t really about what our kids need, or what they want, but about us, and how we have bought into what the world tells us we are suppose to be as parents and perhaps, it is a way for us to make up all those times throughout the year when we didn’t do it perfectly, because somehow we were taught that we are suppose to do it perfectly every time!  As I went to sleep that night, hoping we wouldn’t get too much snow this winter because my porch roof doesn’t look like it can take the pressure, and worried about the furnace, wondering if I was enough for anything or anyone, and the thoughts kept whirling in my head, -- I prayed for Peace. My thoughts went to that small family in the manger, “no crib for his bed”, and imagined what they would be thinking. Would they concentrate on the conditions of the manger or just be grateful to have shelter?  I wondered of all mother’s and father’s who were lonely this Christmas, that felt that they would let their kids down because they couldn’t get them the latest i-product or whatever it is they had been asking for. I thought of all the mother’s and father’s who did buy things that they really couldn’t afford and were lying awake at night wondering how to get pass this Christmas.  Like the Shepherds in the fields, sometimes life is dark and lonely, even on Christmas night.  We have to see the Light, that only God can send us, and follow it, no matter how difficult the journey -- that leads us to Jesus, quietly sleeping in His mother’s arms, surrounded by Love, waiting for us to be present.  “What do I have to give the King?” asked one of the Shepherds, and the other replied, “We can give him our faith.” (There is nothing like a Christmas pageant when you hear these words spoken by children and you can really get it!)  I fell asleep with the thoughts of Jesus and the prayer of so many lonely souls that night.

But I awoke wanting to be silent.  No inspiration to write about anything.

I spent much time during the holiday, reading and watching movies, spending time with Noah and playing some board games. The time went by way too quickly as I am sure you can agree.

Then it came to me, as I sat in Sunday Mass this past weekend – one line that changed my spirit – “Mary kept these things, reflecting on them in her heart.”  My quiet Christmas made sense, it is ok, to take it all in and quietly reflect on them, that there is time to be quiet and time to speak, and both are ok.  And I was able to be so grateful for all that I saw this holiday season. I was able to dig up the manual for the furnace and begin to understand how they work, and what all the buttons are for; and for a moment, I stopped, all the anxiety of what I think the world should be like, and as Noah and I were looking at the planets through his telescope on a very cold, clear night (the night sky has been full of entertainment the last few weeks!), I thought of those Shepherds and Wise men, who had been called to leave the familiar and search for the origin of a star, and there they would find Love.

I believe that nothing happens by coincidence; this past summer, as Noah was starting to become attracted to stars and planets, black holes and galaxies, we attended Creation Fest, in which Louis Giglio spoke of God’s Magical Symphony – the sounds of God’s creation, even stars, praising the Creator. It was an awesome presentation. I ran into Sam’s a couple days before Christmas, and as I was quickly passing the book section, heading toward the frozen foods, something caught my eye, it was a small paperback book, by Louie Giglio entitled “Indescribable” and I thought, “Hey this is the guy this summer!” And I got it to give to Noah for Christmas, because his love of the night sky was increased by the presentation of this guy.  Noah was very excited, and I got to see that twinkle! (And it wasn’t even an i-product!) and within a couple of days Noah had finished the book, and when I asked him how the book was, he replied, “Indescribable Mom!” But he wanted to share one thing he learned about with me and it not only, brought things into prospective, it connected all the dots from my Christmas experience-- it is a video done by Carl Sagan, describing this “Pale Blue Dot” we live on and I want to share it with you. Perhaps it will help all of us keep things in perspective in 2012 and really understand that God is BIG and we are small, and when we get caught up in something that feels life or death, and it really isn’t, remember our size in the big scheme of things, and why not do the right thing whatever the consequences and stop living in fear, because our time is less than a fraction of a second, and people are suffering because of our own inflated sense of self importance as the collective “us” refuse to see the big, big, big picture God sees.  To keep things in perspective is my prayer for myself, for you and for all the world in 2012.